孔雀东南飞--英语搞笑短剧剧本(精选4篇)
孔雀东南飞--英语搞笑短剧剧本 篇1
焦仲卿johnny(j for short)刘兰芝lunch(l for short)焦母johnny’s mother(jm for short)刘母lunch’s mother(lm for short)太守之子mayor’s son(ms for short)强盗burglars(a b and c)prologue 序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.译:人人都说我怕老婆,实际上我是老虎,(小声)我妻子是武松。(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!译:我才不怕你呢!
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom!my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighborhood.she is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.all this i do not care.i only want her to be tenderer than me.but she is not!having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!译:谁怕谁啊!在邻里中,我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些,但是她却不懂温柔!有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)my god!who can help me?(下)译:我的天!谁来救救我啊? act1 第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)jm(拄拐棍上):i can!(对门内)lunch!lunch!where are you? l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here!what’s up,mum? jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
jm:since you married my son you have behaved so badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy…… l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!l:never interrupt me!since i married your son, that terrible johnny, i have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing.i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……
jm: but all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh, you want a grandson, don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son.i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)act2(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)l: mum, i’m back!
lm: you are back?why? what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!i have already told you!when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me.look at yourself…… l: but, mum…… lm: never interrupt me!l: mum, i’m not interrupting you.i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? And i’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜): nice girl!just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said, “if your daughter haven’t been married, i really really want to marry her!” now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)l(惊愕): what? the mayor’s son? the most famous playboy in the neighborhood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(边走边道): lunch!lunch!where are my socks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下)er!how smelly!they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone!i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh, i’m so hungry!but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)this is what lunch always wears!i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.jm(上): where’s my breakfast? where’s lunch? hasn’t she got up yet? j: mum, can’t you remember? lunch has gone!jm(沉吟片刻): well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is useless.lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back!j(立正敬礼): yes madam!act4(j开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)a: hey you!stop and listen to us!the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)b: and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)c: if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头,但踩到了a的脚)ab&c: give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)a: what bad luck!this guy is broken!b: if we cannot rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!c: i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liu lanzhi next month.we can go and rob the wedding!a&b: good idea!j(惊讶): what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!ab&c: why? a pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!j: but lunch is my wife!we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? i’ll go with you.you take the money and i take the bride.b: have you got any experience? j: no.but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000)act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期.ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(j和三强盗跃至台中)abc&j: hey you!stop and listen to us!a: the road is built by me!b: and i planted one tree.c: if you want to go by this street---j: give us all your money!(l听到j的声音,掀起了盖头)l(惊喜万分): johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒,挥拳向j打来.j矮身一躲,ms打中了j身后的l,l晕倒)j(火冒三丈): how dare you beat my wife!(挥拳向ms冲去)(j与ms混战,jm上,以拐杖击晕ms)(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)j(扶起l,关切地问):honey, how are you? l(哭状): i hurt a lot!j: don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)l(起身去追):wait for me!(跑下)
英语短剧剧本 篇2
Scene I
Julia and Romeo are classmates。 Julia has liked Romeo for a long time。 Today, Julia determines to show her feelings to Romeo。 He passes by Betty and Clover。 Allen and Julia are waiting for the bus。
Betty & Clover: Wow…so handsome。
Julia: Hi, Romeo。
Romeo: Hi。
Julia: Your clothes fit you well。
Romeo: Oh! Thanks。 You look charming, too。
Julia: Oh! Really? In fact, I ……have something to tell you。
Romeo: What is it?
Julia: Un ~It’s a little difficult to say。 Just…just… (shy!)
Romeo: Just what?
Julia: Just…I like you!! (determined)
(Romeo and Julia stop action)
Clover: Oh! My goodness! Do you hear what she said?
Betty: Yeah! To my surprise。
Clover: Look at her! So fat, so black, and…
Betty: And so flat。 (point at Julia’s breast)
Allen: Yeah…。you can say that again。
Romeo: (surprised) But I want a thin girl。
Julia: Okay! Give me some time。 And I’ll show you。
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Scene II
(Julia had a plan of losing weight。 First, she went to the famous weight control center。
Angel: Wele to “Perfect Woman。”
Julia: I’d like to talk to your manager。
Angle: Please wait a moment。
Julia: Okay, thank you。
Emma: I’m the manager。 May I help you?
Julia: I want to bee a thin woman in a very short time。
Emma: No problem。 A lot of people want to get thinner in a short time。 You’re not alone。 Let Angel show you。
(Take a pile of paper。 Skim the paper quickly。)
Angle: Okay! First, trust me you can make it。 Here, we have two programs。 The first one includes “aroma oil massage”, “aroma oil treatment” and “acupuncture。” It only costs you 20 thousand dollars。
Julia: Oh……
Angle: The other is much cheaper。 We have “aerobics”, “acupuncture” and “spa。” It’s only 10 thousand dollars。
Emma: So which one do you prefer? Trust me, they’ll both made you thin and sexy。
Julia: I like both。 But I have no money。
Emma & Angle: What? (Clap hands twice。 And then two strong men e in and
throw Julia out) Two men: Get out of here。 (Julia goes to the pharmacy to buy the most popular medicine “Slim Body”
Frank: May I help you?
Julia: Do you have this kind of medicine called “Slim Body”?
Frank: Of course we do。
(Now, Jason es in at the same time。)
Jason: Frank, do you have “Slim Body”? I want to buy more。 It makes me lose weight from 150 kilos to 70 kilos。
Frank: Wow。 Amazing! Here you are!
Jason: Thanks。 (Go out。)
Julia: I want to buy a dozen of it。 (After eating “Slim Body”, Julia gets the trots。 Julia failed again。 Then, she decided to go on a diet。)
(In the restaurant)
Clerk: Can I take your order?
Clover: French fries, chicken and a large cola。
Betty: Hamburger, one large milk shake。
Allen: Roasted pork and ice cream。
Clerk: Anything for you?
Julia: Please give me a cup of water and some crackers。 (Surprised by Julia’s order, they all turn their heads toward her。)
Clerk: That’s all?
Julia: Yeah…(Julia looks at Allen, Clover and Betty enjoying their food。 And Julia is very hungry。 But she can’t eat。 She wants to lose weight。 Then, she passes out。)
Julia: I want to be slim!
(A month later)
Julia: I’ve bee a thin girl。 Now I can go to see Romeo。 And he’s gonna accept me。 Romeo, Romeo…。。(Yell。。。Julia meets Romeo。)
Julia: Hi, my dear Romeo。 I’ve bee a thin girl。 Would you be my boyfriend?
Romeo: Oh, Julia you look so different now。 But I like girls with fair plexion。
Julia: Oh, um……Ok, wait for me。
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Scene III
Julia’s friends e visit her, and want to invite Julia to the beach。)
Allen: The weather is nice for going out。 We want to go to the beach。 Would you like to join us?
Julia: I’d like to… but it’s too hot。 I don’t want to get a tan。
Allen: Don’t worry。 We won’t spend too much time staying in the sun。
Clover: Come on, e on。
Carol: Come with us。
Julia: Okay…give me a little time to prepare for that。
(Few minutes later)
Allen: Are you done?
Julia & Clover & Carol: Yes, we’re ing。
Julia: Oh, I forget something。
Allen & Clover & Carol: What? (She es out with a lot of protections for her face。)
(Two months later, Julia has bee a girl with a fair plexion。 And there are many boys who go after her, but all of them are turned down。 Julia decided to show her love to Romeo one more time)
Julia: Romeo, my love。 I’ve bee a thin girl with a fair plexion。 Would you accept me?
Romeo: Oh, Julia。 You look terrific。 But……your bosom is not my type。
Julia: Oh, um……I know, I know……
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Scene IV
(Julia goes to Korea, and finds the most famous plastic surgeon…。)
Julia: Doctor, I want to make my bosom bigger。
Doctor: What size do you want?
Julia: I prefer G cup。
Doctor: No problem。 We can make it e true。
(After the surgery, Julia is more confident than before。 And she decide to show her feelings to Romeo for the last time。)
Julia: I think I ‘m a perfect woman now。 Romeo will be very proud to have me。 Romeo, Romeo。。。。。。Romeo, look at me! Don’t you think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world? You would love to be my sweet heart, wouldn’t you?
Romeo: Wow! You’ve bee so beautiful。 But I can not accept you。
Julia: Why? I’ve done so many things for you。
Romeo: Because I already have a boyfriend。
Julia: Boyfriend?
(Allen shows up。)
Romeo: Honey~
英语短剧剧本 仲夏夜之梦 篇3
狄米崔斯。。荷叶粥海伦娜。。王丽乾
爸爸。。王达
仙王。。何玉婷仙后。。管管
派克。。王霜
旁白。。孙怡晨
第一幕
口白:
There was a law in the city of Athens which gave to its citizens the power of forcing their daughters to marry whomever they pleased.For if a daughter refused to marry the man her father had chosen to be her husband, the father might by thus law cause her to be put to death.Egeus and Hermia上场
Egeus: Hermia, you have to marry Demetrious, the best guy in the city.荷米亚,你必须嫁给狄米崔斯,这城中最好的年轻人。
Hermia: I’m sorry, Dad!I can’t be his wife.I don’t love him.I’ve fell in love with Lysander.爸爸,抱歉。我不能成为他的妻子。我不爱他。我已经爱上了莱赛德。
Egeus: Lysander? Is he better than Demetrious? No!
莱赛德?他会比狄米崔斯好吗?不!
Hermia: Oh!Dad!Demettrious had ever said that he love my friend, Helena, and she, a sweet lady also love him deeply.喔!爸爸,狄米崔斯曾说过,他爱我的朋友—海伦娜,而这一个甜美女孩也深爱狄米崔斯。Egeus: No matter what you say, I’ve decided to let you marry to Demetrious.I stick to do this!
不管你怎麼说!我已经决定让你嫁给狄米崔斯了,我坚决这样做。
Hermia: Oh!Please, please do not!My dear father!Don’t you love me any more? Don’t give me up, please!
喔,不要,请不要这麼做,亲爱的父亲,你不再爱我了吗?请不要放弃我。
Lysander上场
Lysander: Sweet Hermia, my love!What’s going wrong? Let me wipe your heart-breaking tears!
亲爱的荷米亚,我的爱人,怎麼回事?让我擦掉你那心碎的眼泪。
Hermia: My father said that unless I marry Demetrious, or he’ll be put me to death!What can I do?
我爸爸说,除非我嫁给狄米崔斯,否则他将处死我,我该怎麼办?
Lysander: Fear not and hear me.Tomorrow night, I’ll wait for you in the wood a few miles outside the city.If you really love me, getting far away this sad city with me.不要害怕并听我说,明天晚上,我将在城外几哩的树林里等你,如果你真的爱我,就和我一起逃离这伤心的城市吧。
Hermia: I will because I love you so.我会的,因为我如此爱你。
Helena上场
Helena: Hello!Hermia.嗨,荷米亚。
Hermia: I’m so glad to see you, my friend!
我很高兴见到你,我的朋友。
Helena: But Demetrious love you.Oh, teach me how to attract his eyes, please?但是狄米崔斯爱的是你,请教我如何吸引他的目光吧?
Hermia: Take comfort, he no more shall see my face.Tomorrow night Lysander and myself will fly this place.We’ll meet in the wood.Please pray for us and don’t tell others, good-bye!(下)
放心吧,他再也不会看见我的脸了,明晚莱赛德和我将要逃离此地,我们相约在森林里见面,请你为我们祈祷,并且不要告诉其他人,再见。
Helena: I will go tell Demetrious of fair Hermia’s flight, and then he’ll pursue her.I just want to have his sight again.(下)
我要去告诉狄米崔斯,美丽的荷米亚将要离开,然后他将会去追寻她,而我只是想再看见他的容貌。
第二幕(森林中)
口白:Tonight, the moon is so beautiful.The wood was a favorite meeting-place of those little fairies.The king is always thinking, but what is he thinking of? The atmosphere is a little strange
这个树林是精灵最喜欢的聚会地点,可是仙王和仙后此时发生了严重的争吵。
Oberon: I’ll meet by moonlight, proud Titania.真不巧又在月光下遇见你,傲慢的泰妲妮亚。
Titania: What jealous Oberon!You are as lovely as before.Why dou’t you become a little handsome?Your head is just a pig head.Your stomach is like a big melon.下
Oberon: Well, go your way.Before the morning dawns, I will make you suffer for this injury.Come here, my gentle Puck.好,你走吧,在黎明之前,我一定要为这侮辱惩罚你。我的好派克,过来。
Puck: I’m here, my lord.我在这儿,我的主人。
Oberon: Fetch me the juice of that little purple flower, laid on the eyelids of those who sleep, will make them, when they awake, love madly the first thing they see crazily.替我把花拿来,一旦将那紫色小花的汁液滴在睡眠者的眼皮上,当他们醒来时,便会疯狂的爱上所看到的第一件东西。
Puck:.I’ll do that very well.Believe me.(下)
我会办好这事的,相信我。
第三幕(森林的另一处)
Lysander: Fair love, you faint with wandering in the wood;if you think it good, and tarry for the comfort of the day.好人,你在树林中跋涉著,累得快要昏倒了,要是你同意,让我们休息一下吧。Hermia: Be it so, Lysander.Good night, sweet lover.就照你的意思吧,莱赛德。晚安,爱人。
Lysander: I wish sleep give you all his rest!
愿睡眠给你充分的休养。
Hermia: I will share with you.我愿与你分享。
两人同睡,Puck上
Puck: Ah!Who is here? This is he, the cruel youth.And she is the lady.Pretty soul!She durst not lie near this lack-love.Churl, I’ll drop the love-juice in your eyes.Hey!It’s so funny!(下)
啊,谁在这儿?这是那残酷的年轻人,而她就是那个女孩。美丽的人儿,她竟然不敢睡近这没心肝的恶汉。坏东西,我将在你的眼精滴进爱情的花液。嘿,真有趣。
Helena上
Helena: I am out of breath in the fond chase!The more my prayer, the less is my grace.Who is lying on the ground? Oh!He is Lysander!Is he dead or asleep? Good sir, if you are alive, awake.这痴心的追赶使我累得喘不过气来,我愈是祈求,却愈惹他讨厌。是谁躺在地上?喔,是莱赛德,他是死了还是睡著了?好先生,如果你还活著,就醒醒吧。
Lysander: What a pretty beauty!Helena, I would through fire for your sweet sake.多漂亮的美女,海伦娜,我愿为你赴汤蹈火。
Helena: Do not say so, Lysander.Don’t you love Hermia?
别这麼说,莱赛德。你不爱荷米亚吗?
Lysander: I don’t love her at all.For me, she is just a black raven, and you are a white dove.我一点也不爱她,对我而言,她只是只乌鸦,而你是只白鸽。
Helena: Oh!Why was I born to be mocked and though nothing of by everyone? Is it not enough, young man? That a lady, of one man refused, should of another be so abused!(下)
第四幕
Oberon:Demetrious and Lysander are gone to seek a place to fight in.Puck, this is your carelessness;or did you do it purposely?
狄米崔斯和莱赛德已经去找地方打架了。派克,这都是因为你的粗心,还是你故意的?Puck: Believe me, king of shadows, it was a mistake.相信我,国王,那是无心之过。
Oberon: You heard, I command you to fill the night with a thick fog, and let they shall not be able to find each other.And when they are asleep, drop the juice of this other flower into Lysander’s eyes.你听著:我命令你使黑夜中充满浓雾好让他们找不到对方。当他们睡著时,就解除莱赛
德的魔法。
Puck: I know, I know
我懂,我懂。
Oberon: Go about this quickly, Puck.and all things shall be peace.(两人同下)
派克,赶快去办这件事!一切事情都将和平解决。
第五幕(森林中四人熟睡著)
口白:These people, at no great distance from each other, sleeping on a grass-plot.Puck: Look!How careful I am!I’ll release the magic.When you are awake, everyone will find true love.This is really a happy ending!(下)
看!我是多麼的小心!我要解除魔法。当你们醒来时,每个人将找到真爱。这真是快乐结局!
大家都醒来
Hermia: Oh!Lysander, the doings of the night are too strange!Do you still love me or not?噢!莱赛德,今晚真奇怪!你还爱不爱我?
Lysander: I still crazy about you!But I dreamed I love Helena ……how mad!
我依然爱你的!但我梦到我爱上海伦娜,多麼疯狂!
Hermia: Ay!I had the same dream!
哎!我做了同样的梦!
Helena: Me, too.Now I just wonder if Demetrious love me as in the dream?
我也是,现在,我只想知道狄米崔斯是否还像梦中那样的爱著我?
Demetrious: Helena, I promise, now all my faith and all virtue of my heart is only you!海伦娜,我保证我一切的忠信一切的心思只属於你
Hermia: Oh!Here comes my father
噢,我父亲来了。
Egeus: You!You dare to get far away!I’ll beg the law, the law, upon your head!Demetrious, I’m so sorry!
你,你竟敢逃离!我将要求依法惩办你!狄米崔斯,真抱歉!
Demetrious: Don’t say that.Now the lady I want to marry is Helena
别这麼说,现在我想娶的是海伦娜。.Egeus: Is it true?
真的吗?
Lysander: Yes, it is.Please, please let Hermia marry me too, I’ll bring her happiness, I swear.是的。也请把荷米亚嫁给我吧,我会带给她快乐的,我保证。
Hermia: Oh!Dad!Please, he is really a perfect guy.喔,爸爸!请答应吧,他真的是个完美的人。
Egeus: Hmmm…, since Demetrious wouldn’t marry you, I will no longer opposed your marriage with Lysander.Now, you these lover, can we come home?
嗯,既然狄米崔斯不娶你,我也不再反对你嫁给莱赛德。现在,你们这些恋人,我们回家吧?
四人:Yes!
好!
大家一起离开森林
Oberon: Look!What the sweet couples they are!
看!他们两对恋人是多麼甜蜜!
Titania: I like to see their smiling face.我喜欢看见他们的笑脸。
Puck: I also like to hear their laughter.我也喜欢听到他们的笑声。
搞笑英语剧本 篇4
by Cecilia Liu ⑩芬
5人短剧。搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案,不错的剧本。
人物
Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen
Eliza Lin: Daughter
Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside
Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)
Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)
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SCENE I
A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.
Mom: Hello~
Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.
Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!
The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…
Mom: Hello~
Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?
Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.
Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, “mom, help me~ help me~)
Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)
But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…
Mom: Eliza~
Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?
Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.
Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.
SCENE II英语剧本大全ww.coffbar.com
Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.
The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.
The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.
Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head)
Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.
At this moment, the girl appears.
Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?
Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.
Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!
Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!
Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!
Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?
Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?
Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.
Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.
Eliza: Never mind!
Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there?
Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.
Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…
Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.
Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.
Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.
Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~
Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.
Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!
Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.
Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.
Eliza goes with the gangsters.
In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, ”Don’t move!“ Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.
Eliza: What are you doing?
Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!
Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.
Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?
Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.
Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!
Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!
Eliza keeps crying.
Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!
Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed)
Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)
Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.
Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.
SCENE III
Mother is preparing dinner.
Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!
No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.
Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek with me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.
As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.
Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!
Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.
Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!
Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!
Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!
Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)
Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop.
The gangster takes the phone away.
Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.
Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.
Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?
Mom: Bargain is my hobby.
Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.
Mom: O.K. See you then!
At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.
Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)
The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor.
Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?
Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.
Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?
Big gangster: Where is the ransom?
Mom: Release my daughter first!
Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!
Mom: No way!
And the battle begins.
Mom: Justice is always the winner.
Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!
Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.
Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved.
Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?
Small gangster: I……
Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)
Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.
Eliza: Me! Me!
Celine: What do you want to say?
Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!
Mom: My turn. My turn.
Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?
Mom: Well……
Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle.
Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…
Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.
Mom: Right. And they…
Celine: They want to trick you, but…
Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.
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